EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS    THINKING   TO   STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN  THE WINTER  BECAUSE I 
 DO NOT  KNOW HOW USEFUL THEY  HAVE  BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE  WHEN I  TAKE 
 THEM, THE  LAST FEW TIMES  AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF  SIDE EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY DO NOT  LIKE,  AND THERE  WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH   RANDOM   THINGS  THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR  A 
 LONG  TIME  I  COULD  NOT SEE  A CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I SHOULD AVOID  TO  RUIN ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED  OR  AT LEAST THE  BURN-INS IN 
 THE   EYES,  AND   SOMETIMES  STUFF   IS 
 BREATHING  NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT   DO  IT 
 BEFORE. BUT  MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE I'M SCARED  AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A LOAD OF  CONCEPTS  THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT  SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT  WILL NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE   MY   EYES,  NOT  ACTUALLY  CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST FIELDS AND  MOTION. 
 NOW AND  THEN I HEAR THIS SOUND (A  REAL 
     SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME    
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND IT  IS ALWAYS UNPLEASANT,  I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL,  BUT  I THINK IT HAS TO DO 
        WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.