EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS   THINKING    TO   STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS IN THE  WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO NOT  KNOW HOW USEFUL  THEY HAVE  BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE  WHEN I  TAKE 
 THEM, THE LAST FEW TIMES  AT LEAST,  AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIDE EFFECTS  THAT I 
 REALLY  DO NOT LIKE,  AND THERE  WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH   RANDOM  THINGS   THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR A 
 LONG  TIME  I  COULD  NOT  SEE A CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT  GETTING ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I SHOULD  AVOID TO  RUIN ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
     HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA    
 INCREASED  OR  AT LEAST THE  BURN-INS IN 
 THE   EYES,  AND   SOMETIMES   STUFF  IS 
 BREATHING   NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE.  BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE.  MAYBE I'M SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES  TO  ME  SOMETIMES  THAT SHIT, 
 WHAT  A LOAD OF  CONCEPTS THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF, AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY  ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT  SLEEP  FOR ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL  NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE   MY  EYES,  NOT  ACTUALLY   CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST FIELDS  AND MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN  I HEAR THIS  SOUND (A REAL 
     SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME    
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT, I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL, BUT  I THINK IT  HAS TO DO 
         WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.