THE   GOLDEN          
               M              
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                NUGGETS                 
           DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER          
                 FRIES                  
            CARBONATED WATER            
          BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE           
                 BIG MAC                
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL  BEGAN A THOUSAND  YEARS  AGO IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE  EMERGED FROM A  TAVERN  AFTER  A 
 FEW  YEARS APPRENTICESHIP, WITH AN IDEA. 
 IT  WAS  ILLEGAL  TO  SELL FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
        BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.         
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO BREAD  SLICES, OPERATING OUT 
 OF  A  CART,  NOT  STAYING  IN  THE SAME 
 PLACE  LONG. IN THE DAY  SHE  SLEPT,  IN 
 THE EVE SHE  SOLD  HER WARES, AND IN THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER A FEW YEARS,  MARIGOLDS FOOD  CART 
 HAD   A  REPUTATION.   SHE   CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND PEOPLE TALKED  ABOUT  THE  GOLDEN M. 
 THE  OLD  TAVERN HAD THEIR  MONOPOLY AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER, SHE  BECAME  A LITTLE  TOO WELL 
 KNOWN.  THE  TAVERNS  MEN  HOT   ON  HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE  COULD  STAY  A  SHORTER AND 
 SHORTER  TIME IN EACH LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED.  AND SOON ENOUGH  THERE  CAME  A 
 TIME WHEN THEY STARTED  WATCHING FOR HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO  SHE HID THE  CART, AND  DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER   THIRTY  YEARS,   A   MAN   NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND  THE   CART.  HE  WAS  A 
     CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE    
 (CURSED,  I  MEAN))  AND AS  SUCH  HE OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT  A GOOD IDEA TO FOLLOW 
          IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.         
                                          
 HE WASN'T  ALL  THAT OF A COOK, AND EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED THE  GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY  FELL INTO  INFAMITY. HOWEVER HE 
 WAS  KIND OF  A HARDHAT  AND DIDN'T STOP 
 TRYING. THE  TAVERN DIDN'T CARE  FOR HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND   ALSO   THEY   HAD   EXPANDED  TOO 
  QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND   
 WAS IN THE  PROCESS OF  FALLING  APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY AT EVERYONE  FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS   FOOD,    HE    VOWED    TO   LEAVE 
          KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.         
                                          
              WHICH HE DID.               
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW HE  TRAVELED 
 OR WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED  UP ON 
          EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.           
 UPON  FINDING  OUT  THAT EARTH HOLDS  NO 
 EDIBLE LIZARDS, HE SETTLED FOR  COW MEAT 
 INSTEAD, AND TO  HIS JOY, THE EARTH FOLK 
                 LIKED IT!                
                                          
 THEN HE  GOT SCAMMED OUT OF THE  CART BY 
 A MAN  NAMED  MICKEY  MAC  DONALDS,  WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
 WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY  
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE  PROJECT,  AND QUICKLY EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!