RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&&&&&&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨&&&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨¨&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&&¨¨¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&
&&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨&& ¨¨&&¨&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&&¨&¨¨&
&&¨&&&¨&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&¨&&&¨&&
¨&&¨¨&&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨& OPERATION. &&&&&&&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
&&¨&&¨¨¨&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨¨ ¨&&&&&&&&&
&¨&&&¨&&¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&&&&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&¨¨¨&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨& &¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨
¨¨¨&&¨&&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨¨¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨&&&¨&¨&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
&¨¨&&&&¨¨& &&&¨&&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&&&&¨¨¨&
¨&&&&¨&&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨¨¨&&¨&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨&&&&¨
&¨&&&¨&¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.