RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
,,,», , »», , », ,»
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.