RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&&&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ ¨&&&&&¨¨&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&&¨¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨&&&& &&&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&¨¨&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&&&&¨¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&&&¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& &&¨¨&&&¨¨&
&&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& OPERATION. ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨&&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨¨&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&¨¨&&&&&¨
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&&&&&&¨¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&&&&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨&&&&&&&&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨¨&&&&&&&&
&&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
^^^«^ ^ ««^ ^ «^ ^«
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.