RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.......@.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
@@@@@@...@ @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@..@.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@@@@@@@@@
@@@@...... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@@@@@@@@@
@@@..@@@@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @@@@@@@@@@
@@....@@@. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@@@@@@@@@
@..@@..@.. @@@@@@@@@@
.......... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .@@@@@@@@@
.@@@@@@@@@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..@@@@@@@.
..@@@@@@@. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...@@@@@..
@..@@@@@.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @@..@@@..@
....@@@... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .....@....
@@@..@..@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@@@...@@@
@@........ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .@@..@..@@
@..@@@@@@@ .........@
....@@@@@. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@@@@@@@..
@@@..@@@.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@@@@@..@
@@....@..@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @@@@@@....
...@@..... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@@@@..@@.
@@....@@@@ OPERATION. @@@@......
...@@..@@@ @@@..@@@@.
@@......@. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @@....@@..
...@@@@... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @..@@.....
@@..@@..@@ ......@@@@
@........@ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @@@@@..@@@
..@@@@@@.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .@@@....@@
...@@@@..@ ..@..@@...
@@..@@.... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ........@@
@......@@. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @@@@@@@..@
..@@@@.... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ @@@@@@....
@..@@..@@. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@@@@..@@@
.......... .@@@....@@
.@@@@@@@@@ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..@..@@...
..@@@@@@@@ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @.......@@
...@@@@@@. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..@@@@@...
@@..@@@@.. ...@@@..@@
@....@@..@ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @@..@....@
..@@...... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @.....@@..
@....@@@@@ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ..@@@....@
..@@..@@@@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @..@..@@..
@......@@@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .........@
..@@@@..@@ @@@@@@@@..
@..@@....@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @@@@@@@..@
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- -- - - . -. .
. . † .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.