RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» #¨¨#¨##¨#¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ ¨#¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨#¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨¨#¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##¨¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ###¨¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨#¨¨# #¨##¨¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨#¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨###¨¨¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨¨#¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨###¨¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #¨¨¨#¨##¨¨
¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨#¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨¨¨¨###¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨#¨¨¨#¨##
#¨¨¨¨#¨##¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨##
##¨¨¨¨¨### ¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨
###¨¨¨¨#¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨¨¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨###¨¨¨¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ##¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨#¨##¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨##¨¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨¨¨###¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨###¨¨¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨#¨##¨¨ ¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨¨¨###¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨#¨## NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨## #¨¨¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨#¨¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨#¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ ¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨¨#¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨¨¨# »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» #¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ ##¨¨#¨¨¨#¨
¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨##¨¨#¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨¨###¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨###¨¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨¨¨#¨##¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨#¨##¨¨#¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨¨### ¨¨¨###¨¨#¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨# »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨¨#¨##¨¨#
#¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨# »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨¨¨¨###¨¨
¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨# »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» #¨¨¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨#¨¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ #¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨#¨¨¨# »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨#
~~~»~ ~ »»~ ~ »~ ~»
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.