RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨&¨¨&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&&¨&¨¨& ¨&&&&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&&&&¨&¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&&¨&&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&&¨¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨& ¨&&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨&&¨&&¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&&&¨&&&&
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨¨&&¨¨¨&
&&¨&&&&¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&&¨¨¨&&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&&&¨&&&
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&&¨&&&&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&&&&&&&
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&& ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&&&&¨&&&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&&&&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& OPERATION. ¨&&¨&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& &¨&&¨¨¨&¨&
&¨¨¨¨&&¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨&¨¨&&&¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&&&¨&¨¨&&
&¨¨&&&¨&¨& &¨¨&&&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨¨&&&&¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&¨¨&&&¨&
&&&¨&¨¨¨&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&¨&¨¨&&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ¨¨&&&¨&¨&&
¨&¨¨&¨&&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨¨&&&&¨&
&&¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&¨&¨¨¨&&&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&&&&¨&¨¨¨& &¨&&&¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&¨¨&&&¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨&&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&&&¨
¨&&¨&&&¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&¨¨&&¨&&
¨&&&&¨&¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&&¨&¨&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&¨&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨&&&&¨&¨¨
&¨¨&¨¨&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&¨¨¨&&&¨&
&¨&&¨&¨¨¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&&¨&&&¨¨&& &&¨&&¨&¨&&
¨&&¨¨&¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&¨&&&&¨¨
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.