RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
........&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .&.&&&....
........&. &&&&..&...
........&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ....&.&&..
........&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &...&&&.&.
........&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&..&..&&&
&.......&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&.&&.&..
&&......&& &&.&&.&&&.
&.&.....&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.&&.&&..&
.&&&....&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&.&&.&.&
&&..&...&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&.&&.&&&&
..&.&&..&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&.&&...
..&&&.&.&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&.&&.&..
..&..&&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&&.&&&.
..&&.&.... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &.&..&&..&
&.&.&&&... .&&&.&.&.&
.&&&&..&.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&..&&&&&&
&&...&.&&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&.&.....
&.&..&&&.& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...&&&....
&&&&.&..&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ...&..&...
&...&&&.&. OPERATION. ...&&.&&..
&&..&..&&& &..&.&&.&.
&.&.&&.&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&.&&&.&&&
.&&&&.&&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &.&&..&&..
.&...&&..& .&&.&.&.&.
.&&..&.&.& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» .&.&&&&&&&
&&.&.&&&&& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &&&&......
&.&&&&.... ....&.....
&&&...&... »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ....&&....
&..&..&&.. »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &...&.&...
&&.&&.&.&. »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&..&&&&..
&.&&.&&&&& »»# AND AT EASE #»» ..&.&...&.
&&&.&&.... ..&&&&..&&
...&&.&... »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &.&...&.&.
...&.&&&.. »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» .&&&..&&&&
&..&&&..&. »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &&..&.&...
&&.&..&.&& &.&.&&&&..
&.&&&.&&&. »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» .&&&&...&.
&&&..&&..& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» .&...&..&&
...&.&.&.& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» .&&..&&.&.
...&&&&&&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&.&.&.&&&
&..&...... »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ..&&&&&&..
&&.&&..... ..&.....&.
&.&&.&.... »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ..&&....&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.