RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@¨@@¨¨@@@¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨@¨¨@@@¨
@@¨@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨¨@@¨@¨¨@@
¨@@@@@¨@@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨@¨@@@¨@¨¨
@¨¨¨¨@@¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@@¨¨@@@¨¨
@¨¨¨@¨@@@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨@¨@¨¨@¨@
@¨¨@@@¨¨¨@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨@@@@¨@@@¨
@¨@¨¨@¨¨@@ @¨¨¨@@¨¨@@
@@@¨@@¨@¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @¨¨@¨@¨@¨¨
¨¨@@¨@@@¨@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨@@@@@@¨@
¨@¨@@¨¨@@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@¨¨¨¨¨@@@
@@@¨@¨@¨@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨@¨¨¨¨@¨¨@
¨¨@@@@@@@@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @@¨¨¨@@¨@¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨@¨¨@¨@@@¨
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @@¨@@@¨¨@¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@ ¨@@¨¨@¨@@@
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @¨@¨@@@¨¨@
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@@¨¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨@¨@@@@¨
¨@¨¨¨@@¨@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨@@@¨¨¨@@
@@¨¨@¨@@@¨ OPERATION. ¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨@
¨@¨@@@¨¨@¨ @@¨@@¨@@@¨
@@@¨¨@¨@@¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@@¨@@¨¨@¨
¨¨@¨@@@¨@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @¨@@¨@¨@@@
¨@@@¨¨@@@@ @@¨@@@@¨¨@
@¨¨@¨@¨¨¨@ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨@@¨¨¨@¨@@
@¨@@@@¨¨@¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» @¨@¨¨@@@¨¨
@@¨¨¨@¨@@¨ @@@¨@¨¨@¨@
¨@¨¨@@@¨@¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨@@@¨@@@¨
@@¨@¨¨@@@¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨@¨¨@@¨¨@¨
¨@@@¨@¨¨@¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» @@¨@¨@¨@@@
@¨¨@@@¨@@¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨@@@@@@¨¨@
@¨@¨¨@@¨@¨ @¨¨¨¨¨@¨@¨
@@@¨@¨@@@¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» @¨¨¨¨@@@@@
¨¨@@@@¨¨@¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» @¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨¨¨@¨@@@ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» @¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨
@@¨¨@@@¨¨@ @¨@¨@¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨@¨¨@¨@¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» @@@@@¨¨¨¨@
@@@@¨@@@@¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@
¨¨¨@@¨¨¨@@ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨¨@@¨¨@¨¨
¨¨@¨@¨¨@¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨@¨@¨@@¨¨
¨@@@@¨@@¨@ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨@@@@@¨@¨¨
@¨¨¨@@¨@@@ @¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
@¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» @¨¨¨@¨¨@¨@
:::»: : »»: : »: :»
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.