EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I   WAS    THINKING   TO   STOP    DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS IN  THE  WINTER  BECAUSE I 
 DO  NOT KNOW HOW USEFUL  THEY  HAVE BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE WHEN  I  TAKE 
 THEM, THE  LAST  FEW TIMES AT LEAST, AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIDE  EFFECTS THAT I 
 REALLY  DO NOT LIKE, AND  THERE  WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH   RANDOM  THINGS  THAT   I 
 HAPPEN  TO SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR  A 
 LONG TIME  I  COULD  NOT SEE  A  CERTAIN 
 KIND  OF  LEAF  WITHOUT  GETTING ANXIOUS 
 ... AND I SHOULD  AVOID TO  RUIN ALL THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED  OR  AT LEAST THE  BURN-INS IN 
 THE   EYES,  AND   SOMETIMES   STUFF  IS 
 BREATHING  NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO   IT 
 BEFORE. BUT MAYBE I  JUST DRANK TOO MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE I'M SCARED AND  MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES  TO  ME SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A  LOAD OF CONCEPTS THIS  "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF, AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY  ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO  NOT SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL  NO LONGER BE DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE  MY  EYES,   NOT  ACTUALLY   CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST FIELDS AND  MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN I HEAR THIS  SOUND  (A REAL 
     SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME    
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND  IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT,  I BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL, BUT  I  THINK IT HAS TO DO 
         WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.