EH                    
                                          
                                         
                                          
 I    WAS   THINKING   TO    STOP   DOING 
 HALLUCINOGENS  IN THE WINTER  BECAUSE  I 
 DO  NOT KNOW HOW  USEFUL THEY HAVE  BEEN 
 ANYWAY?  I  GET  SO  TENSE  WHEN  I TAKE 
 THEM, THE LAST  FEW TIMES AT LEAST,  AND 
 THERE ARE PLENTY OF SIDE EFFECTS  THAT I 
 REALLY  DO NOT  LIKE, AND  THERE WILL BE 
   ASSOCIATIONS WITH THESE MINI-ANXIETY   
 ATTACKS  WITH   RANDOM  THINGS   THAT  I 
 HAPPEN  TO  SEE...  FOR  EXAMPLE,  FOR A 
 LONG  TIME  I COULD  NOT  SEE  A CERTAIN 
 KIND OF  LEAF  WITHOUT  GETTING  ANXIOUS 
 ... AND  I SHOULD AVOID TO RUIN ALL  THE 
            SEASONS THIS WAY.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
    HMM, RECENTLY MY VISUAL PHENOMENA     
 INCREASED  OR AT  LEAST THE  BURN-INS IN 
 THE  EYES,   AND   SOMETIMES  STUFF   IS 
 BREATHING   NOW,  THEY  DID  NOT  DO  IT 
 BEFORE. BUT MAYBE I JUST DRANK TOO  MUCH 
 COFFEE. MAYBE I'M  SCARED AND MAKING ALL 
             THESE THINGS UP.             
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IT  COMES  TO ME  SOMETIMES  THAT  SHIT, 
 WHAT A LOAD OF  CONCEPTS  THIS "REALITY" 
 CONSISTS  OF,  AND  HOW  VAGUE  THEY ARE 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 IF  I  DO NOT  SLEEP  FOR  ABOUT  TWENTY 
 HOURS, IT WILL NO LONGER BE  DARK WHEN I 
 CLOSE   MY  EYES,  NOT   ACTUALLY  CEV'S 
 THOUGH, RATHER  JUST  FIELDS AND MOTION. 
 NOW AND THEN I HEAR  THIS SOUND (A  REAL 
    SOUND (I THINK)), RESEMBLING SOME     
  "KNERP" FROM TWENTYFIVE C NBOME OR SO.  
 AND IT IS ALWAYS  UNPLEASANT,  I  BECOME 
 SO STRESSFUL,  BUT  I THINK IT HAS TO DO 
        WITH THE NOVELTY. I HOPE.