RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨&¨&¨&&& ======================================== &&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&&&&&&¨¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨&&&&&&&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨&&¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨&¨&¨ &¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&&&¨&&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨&&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&&¨&&&
&&¨&&&&&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&&&¨&&¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨&&¨&¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&&
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&&¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&& &¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&¨&&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&&¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨&&&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨ OPERATION. &&&&&&¨&¨&
¨&&&&&&&¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&& ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &¨¨&&¨&&&&
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨&& &&&&&&¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&&&&&¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨& ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨&&¨¨¨&&¨&
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨&&&¨&¨¨& ¨&&&&¨&&&¨
&&&¨¨&&&¨& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&&¨¨&¨&¨&
&¨¨&&&&¨&¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨¨&¨&&&&&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&&& &¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &¨&&&¨&&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨&&¨¨&&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== &&¨&¨&¨&&&
&&&&&&&¨&¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== &¨&&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& &&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ======================================== &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.