THE   GOLDEN         
              M               
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                NUGGETS                 
          DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER           
                  FRIES                 
            CARBONATED WATER            
           BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE          
                 BIG MAC                
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL BEGAN  A  THOUSAND YEARS  AGO IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE EMERGED FROM  A  TAVERN  AFTER  A 
 FEW YEARS APPRENTICESHIP,  WITH AN IDEA. 
 IT  WAS ILLEGAL  TO  SELL  FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
         BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.        
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO BREAD  SLICES, OPERATING OUT 
 OF A  CART,  NOT  STAYING  IN  THE  SAME 
 PLACE  LONG. IN THE  DAY  SHE SLEPT,  IN 
 THE EVE SHE SOLD  HER  WARES, AND IN THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER  A  FEW YEARS, MARIGOLDS FOOD CART 
 HAD   A   REPUTATION.  SHE   CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND PEOPLE TALKED  ABOUT  THE GOLDEN  M. 
 THE OLD TAVERN HAD  THEIR  MONOPOLY  AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER,  SHE BECAME  A  LITTLE TOO WELL 
 KNOWN.  THE  TAVERNS  MEN  HOT  ON   HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE COULD  STAY  A  SHORTER  AND 
 SHORTER TIME  IN EACH LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED. AND  SOON  ENOUGH  THERE  CAME A 
 TIME WHEN  THEY STARTED WATCHING FOR HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO  SHE HID  THE CART, AND  DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER  THIRTY   YEARS,   A   MAN   NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND  THE   CART.  HE  WAS  A 
    CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE     
 (CURSED,  I MEAN))  AND AS  SUCH  HE  OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA TO  FOLLOW 
         IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.          
                                          
 HE  WASN'T ALL THAT OF A COOK, AND  EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED THE  GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY FELL INTO INFAMITY.  HOWEVER  HE 
 WAS KIND OF  A  HARDHAT  AND DIDN'T STOP 
 TRYING. THE TAVERN DIDN'T  CARE FOR  HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND  ALSO   THEY   HAD   EXPANDED   TOO 
  QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND   
 WAS  IN THE  PROCESS OF FALLING  APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY AT EVERYONE FOR  NOT UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS    FOOD,   HE   VOWED    TO    LEAVE 
         KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.          
                                          
               WHICH HE DID.              
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT  KNOW MUCH ABOUT HOW HE TRAVELED 
 OR WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED UP  ON 
          EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.           
 UPON  FINDING OUT  THAT  EARTH HOLDS  NO 
 EDIBLE LIZARDS, HE  SETTLED FOR COW MEAT 
 INSTEAD, AND TO HIS JOY,  THE EARTH FOLK 
                LIKED IT!                 
                                          
 THEN HE  GOT SCAMMED OUT OF THE  CART BY 
 A  MAN  NAMED  MICKEY MAC  DONALDS,  WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
 WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY  
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE PROJECT,  AND QUICKLY  EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!