dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed in my  mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is my  nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting... but  time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander  too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a  prick on the  nose, that's 
 what these  are. like you do with  a cat 
 who  comes to close to  your sandwich...