dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i   wake  suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all  over my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding  trenches in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then i  realize  i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature. turning  the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my  eyes are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess? i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on the  nose,  that's 
 what these are.  like you do with  a cat 
 who comes  to close  to your sandwich...