dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and   for  a  second 
 everything is completely calm  and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all  over my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in  my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my  mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but i  must  try  to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such is  my  nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting... but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on  the nose, that's 
 what these are. like you do  with  a cat 
 who comes to close  to your  sandwich...