RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....&&&.. ======================================== ...&&&....
.....&.&&. ...&.&&...
.......&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .....&&&..
.......&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &....&.&&.
.........& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&.....&&&
&........& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&....&.&
&&........ ...&.....&
.&&....... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ....&....&
.&&&...... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &....&....
.&.&&..... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&....&...
...&&&.... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&....&..
...&.&&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...&....&.
.....&&&.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....&....&
&....&.&&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .....&....
.&.....&&& &.....&...
..&....&.& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&.....&..
...&.....& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&&.....&.
....&....& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&&&.....&
&....&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&.&&.....
.&....&... OPERATION. ...&&&....
..&....&.. ...&.&&...
...&....&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &....&&&..
....&....& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&...&.&&.
.....&.... &&&....&&&
&.....&... ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &.&&...&.&
&&.....&.. ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ..&&&....&
.&&.....&. ..&.&&...&
.&&&.....& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ....&&&...
.&.&&..... ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== &...&.&&..
...&&&.... ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== .&....&&&.
...&.&&... ==# AND AT EASE #== ..&...&.&&
&....&&&.. ...&....&&
&&...&.&&. ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ....&...&.
&&&....&&& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== .....&....
&.&&...&.& ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== &.....&...
..&&&....& .&.....&..
..&.&&...& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ..&.....&.
....&&&... ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ...&.....&
&...&.&&.. ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ....&.....
.&....&&&. ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== .....&....
..&...&.&& ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ......&...
...&....&& &......&..
....&...&. ======================================== .&......&.
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.