RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&&¨&¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& OPERATION. &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.