RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE COMPUTER  IS A VERY  COMMON TOOL  IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. 
 ITS  JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS  OF SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS IN A  SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST WORK  ON  THE  PRINCIPLES OF POSING 
 THE PROBLEM ON A  HILBERT  PLANE,  WHICH 
 IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY, SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS   CAN  SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM 
   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE  "GODS" OF THEIR 
 COMPUTER, OR  TO  THE  DAEMONS DOING THE 
 WORK,   FOR  A  QUICK  AND   FAULT  FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
             AND AT EASE            
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
    OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA     
      OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES     
      (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,     
       THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED      
         TO RESPOND TO THIS)        
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO     BE     A    KIND    OF    PRAYER? 
 AS    IN,   YOU   MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,    BEAUTIFUL,   AND   USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE   USING  YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE    HAS    BUGS,    LOTS   OF    IT.