RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
...&...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ......&&&&
.&...&&&&. &&&&&..&&.
...&..&&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&......
&&........ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&..&&&&&
&..&&&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&....&&&&
....&&&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...&&..&&&
.&&..&&&&& &&......&.
......&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ...&&&&...
&&&&&..&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&..&&..&&
&&&&....&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .........&
&&&..&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&&&&&..
.&......&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&&&&&...
...&&&&... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&&&..&&
.&..&&..&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &..&&.....
.......... ......&&&&
.&&&&&&&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&&&..&&.
..&&&&&&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..&&......
&..&&&&..& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &....&&&&&
....&&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..&&..&&&&
.&&....&&. OPERATION. .......&&.
....&&.... &&&&&&....
&&&....&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&..&&&
&&..&&.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&....&&
&......&&. &&&..&&..&
..&&&&.... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&........
&..&&..&&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ...&&&&&&&
........&& &&..&&&&&&
.&&&&&&..& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &....&&&&.
..&&&&.... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..&&..&&..
&..&&..&&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .........&
.......... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&&&&&&..
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&..&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&&&&&....
.&&&&&&&&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .&&&&..&&.
..&&&&&&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..&&......
&..&&&&&&& &....&&&&&
....&&&&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&&..&&&&
.&&..&&&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .......&&.
......&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&&&&....
&&&&&..&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .&&&&..&&&
&&&&....&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..&&....&&
&&&..&&... &....&&..&
&&......&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&&......
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - . -. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.