RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨¨&&¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&¨¨&&&¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ &¨¨&¨&¨¨&&
&&¨&&&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&&&¨&¨&
¨&&¨¨&&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨¨¨&&&&¨
&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&&&&¨¨¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&& ¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&&&¨¨&¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&¨¨&¨&&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&&&&¨¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨¨&&&&&
&&&¨&¨¨&&¨ ¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&&¨&¨&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&¨&&&&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&& OPERATION. ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&¨&¨¨&&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&¨¨¨&&&
¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨¨&&&¨&&¨ ¨¨&&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&¨¨&&¨&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨&¨&&¨&¨¨&
&&&¨&¨&&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&¨&&&¨&¨
¨¨&&&&¨&&¨ ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
¨&¨¨¨&&¨&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨&¨&&&¨&&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
&&&¨¨&&¨&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨&&¨& ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨&&&&&¨&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨&&&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&&&&¨¨&¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&&&¨&&&&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨&&¨&&&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨ ¨¨&&¨&¨&&&
¨¨&&¨¨&¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨&&&&¨¨&
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.