RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&..&&&&&&. ---------------------------------------- &&&&&..&&.
&&.&.....& &....&.&.&
..&&&....& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&...&&&&&
&.&..&...& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &.&..&....
&&&&.&&..& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&&.&&...
&...&&.&.& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&..&&.&..
&&..&.&&&& ..&.&.&&&.
&.&.&&&... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.&&&&&..&
.&&&&..&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&....&.&
&&...&.&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&.&...&&&
..&..&&&.& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &.&&&..&..
..&&.&..&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&..&.&&.
..&.&&&.&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &..&.&&&.&
&.&&&..&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&.&&&..&&
.&&..&.&.. &&&&..&.&.
.&.&.&&&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ....&.&&&&
&&&&&&...& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &...&&&...
&.....&..& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&..&..&..
&&....&&.& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&.&&.&&.
&.&...&.&& OPERATION. ...&&.&&.&
.&&&..&&&. ...&.&&.&&
&&..&.&..& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&&.&&.
&.&.&&&&.& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ...&..&&.&
.&&&&...&& ...&&.&.&&
&&...&..&. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ...&.&&&&.
&.&..&&.&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ...&&&...&
.&&&.&.&&. ...&..&..&
&&..&&&&.& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ...&&.&&.&
..&.&...&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &..&.&&.&&
&.&&&&..&. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&.&&&.&&.
&&&...&.&& --# AND AT EASE #-- ..&&..&&.&
...&..&&&. &.&.&.&.&&
&..&&.&..& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&&&&&&&&.
&&.&.&&&.& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &........&
..&&&&..&& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&.......&
&.&...&.&. &.&......&
.&&&..&&&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- .&&&.....&
&&..&.&... --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- &&..&....&
..&.&&&&.. --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ..&.&&...&
&.&&&...&. --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &.&&&.&..&
.&&..&..&& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- .&&..&&&.&
&&.&.&&.&. .&.&.&..&&
..&&&&.&&& ---------------------------------------- .&&&&&&.&.
...-. . --. . -. .-
. .. . . . .. .
. . * .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.