RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨###¨#¨#¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ####¨##¨¨¨
#¨¨#####¨# ¨¨¨##¨#¨¨¨
#¨#¨¨¨¨##¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨#¨###¨¨#
###¨¨¨#¨#¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨###¨¨#¨#¨
¨¨#¨¨##### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #¨¨#¨#####
¨##¨#¨¨¨¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨###¨¨¨¨#
#¨###¨¨¨#¨ ##¨¨#¨¨¨##
##¨¨#¨¨##¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨#¨##¨¨#¨¨
¨#¨##¨#¨#¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ###¨#¨##¨#
###¨###### IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨####¨###
¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨#¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨#¨#¨¨¨¨#¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ##¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
####¨¨¨### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨#¨####¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨##¨##¨¨# ¨¨#¨¨##¨##
¨#¨##¨#¨#¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨##¨#¨##¨#
###¨###### CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨####¨###
¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ##¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨#¨#¨¨¨¨## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
####¨¨¨#¨¨ OPERATION. ##¨####¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨##¨# ¨##¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨##¨#¨##¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #¨#¨¨##¨##
¨#¨####¨## NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ###¨#¨##¨#
###¨¨¨##¨# ¨¨####¨###
¨¨#¨¨#¨### ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨#¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨##¨###¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨#¨¨# ¨#¨####¨¨¨
##¨#¨##¨#¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ###¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨####¨###¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨#¨¨##¨#¨
#¨¨¨##¨¨## ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨##¨#¨###¨
#¨¨#¨#¨#¨# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #¨####¨¨##
#¨######## ##¨¨¨#¨#¨¨
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨#¨¨####¨#
¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ##¨#¨¨¨##¨
##¨¨¨¨¨### ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨###¨¨#¨#¨
¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨# #¨¨#¨#####
##¨¨¨##¨## ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #¨###¨¨¨¨#
¨#¨¨#¨##¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ##¨¨#¨¨¨#¨
##¨###¨#¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨#¨##¨¨##¨
¨##¨¨###¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ###¨#¨#¨##
#¨#¨#¨¨#¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨######¨#
#####¨##¨# ¨#¨¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨¨¨##¨##¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##¨¨¨¨#¨##
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.