RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨§¨¨§§§§§¨ ¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨§§¨¨§§§§
¨§§§¨¨§¨¨§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨§§§§§§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §§§§§¨¨§§§
¨¨§¨¨§§§§§ §§§§¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§§§§¨¨§¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§
§§§¨¨§§§§§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§§§¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§
§¨¨§§§§§§§ §§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§§§¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR §§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
¨§§§§¨¨¨§§ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨§§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ §§¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨§§§§§¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§§ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: §§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§ §¨¨§§§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§¨
§§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§§§¨¨§§§§ ¨¨¨¨§§§§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§§ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« §§§¨¨§§§¨¨
§¨¨¨§§¨¨§§ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« §§¨¨¨¨§¨¨§
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨§§§§¨¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« §§¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨§¨¨§§¨¨¨ §¨¨§§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
§§§§§§§¨¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨§§§§§§¨¨¨
¨§§§§§¨¨§§ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨§§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨§ §¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§¨¨§§¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨§§§§¨¨§§§
¨§§§§§§§¨¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨§§§§§¨¨§ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨
§¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨§¨¨§§¨ §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§
¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.