RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.#.#..#.#. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..##...##.
....#..... ..###..###
#....#.... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #.#.##.#.#
##....#... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....##...#
.##....#.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ....###..#
.###....#. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ....#.##..
.#.##....# ......###.
...###.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #.....#.##
#..#.##... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .#......##
##...###.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..#.....#.
###..#.##. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #..#......
#.##...### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .#..#.....
..###..#.# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#..#....
..#.##...# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...#..#...
....###..# ....#..#..
....#.##.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....#..#.
......###. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ......#..#
#.....#.## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .......#..
.#......## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #.......#.
..#.....#. OPERATION. ##.......#
#..#...... ###.......
.#..#..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #.##......
..#..#.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..###.....
...#..#... ..#.##....
....#..#.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ....###...
.....#..#. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ....#.##..
......#..# #.....###.
.......#.. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .#....#.##
#.......#. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..#.....##
##.......# ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ...#....#.
###....... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ....#.....
#.##...... .....#....
..###..... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #.....#...
..#.##.... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .#.....#..
....###... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..#.....#.
....#.##.. ...#.....#
#.....###. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ....#.....
.#....#.## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ #....#....
..#.....## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##....#...
...#....#. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .##....#..
....#..... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .###....#.
.....#.... .#.##....#
#.....#... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...###....
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
. . ยง .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.