RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨&&¨¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.