RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨¨@
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ OPERATION. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
@¨@@¨@¨¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@¨¨@¨@¨@@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.