RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&....... «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« .......&&&
....&&&&&& &&&&&&..&.
&&&..&&&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&.....
.&....&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&..&&&.
...&&..&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&....&..
&&......&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ....&&...&
&..&&&&... .&&....&..
....&&..&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ....&&....
&&&....... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&....&&&
&&..&&&&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&..&&..&&
&....&&&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &........&
..&&..&..& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&&&&&&..
&......... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...&&&&..&
..&&&&&&&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&..&&....
&..&&&&&.. .......&&&
....&&&... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&&&&..&&
.&&..&..&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&&.....
.......... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&..&&&&
.&&&&&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&....&&.
..&&&&&&&& OPERATION. &&..&&....
&..&&&&&&& &......&&&
....&&&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&&&&..&&
.&&..&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &..&&.....
......&&&. ......&&&&
.&&&&..&.. ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&&&&..&&.
..&&.....& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« .&&&......
&....&&&.. ..&..&&&&&
..&&..&..& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ......&&&&
.......... ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&&..&&.
&&&&&&&&&. ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&&&......
.&&&&&&&.. ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&&..&&&&.
..&&&&&... &&....&&..
&..&&&..&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &..&&....&
....&..... ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ......&&..
&&&...&&&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« .&&&&....&
&&..&..&&. ..&&..&&..
.......... ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ..........
&&&&&&&&&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&&&&&&&&&
...«. . ««. . «. .«
. .. . . . .. .
. . % .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.