RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....&...&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
&&&...&... &&&&&&&&&&
&&..&...&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&&&
&.....&... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&&&&&&&
..&&&...&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&&&&&
...&..&..& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&&&&.
&&........ &&&&&&&&..
...&&&&&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&&&&...
&&..&&&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&..&&
&....&&... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&&....&
..&&....&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&..&&..
&....&&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&......&
..&&....&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....&&&&..
&....&&..& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&&..&&..&
..&&...... ..........
&....&&&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&&&&&&&&
..&&..&&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..&&&&&&&&
.........& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &..&&&&&&.
&&&&&&&&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ....&&&&..
.&&&&&&..& OPERATION. &&&..&&...
..&&&&.... &&......&&
...&&..&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&&&...
&&........ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&..&&..&&
&..&&&&&&. .........&
....&&&&.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&&&&&&&..
&&&..&&... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&&&&&..&
&&......&& &&&&&&....
...&&&&..& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&&&&..&&.
&&..&&.... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&&......
.......&&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&..&&&&.
&&&&&&.... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&....&&..
.&&&&..&&& ...&&.....
..&&....&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&....&&&&
.....&&... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ...&&..&&.
&&&&....&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&........
.&&..&&..& &..&&&&&&.
.......... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ....&&&&..
&&&&&&&&&. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&..&&..&
&&&&&&&&.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&........
.&&&&&&..& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &..&&&&&&.
..&&&&.... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ....&&&&..
&..&&..&&. .&&..&&..&
.......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
,,,~, , ~~, , ~, ,~
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . = .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.