RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
...@@..... «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« @.....@...
...@@@.... @@.....@..
...@.@@... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .@@.....@.
.....@@@.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .@@@.....@
@....@.@@. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .@.@@.....
.@.....@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...@@@....
..@....@.@ ...@.@@...
...@.....@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .....@@@..
....@....@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @....@.@@.
.....@.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .@.....@@@
@.....@... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..@....@.@
@@.....@.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @..@.....@
.@@.....@. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .@..@....@
.@@@.....@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..@..@....
.@.@@..... @..@..@...
...@@@.... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@..@..@..
...@.@@... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .@@..@..@.
.....@@@.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .@@@..@..@
@....@.@@. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .@.@@..@..
.@.....@@@ OPERATION. ...@@@..@.
..@....@.@ ...@.@@..@
@..@.....@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .....@@@..
.@..@....@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .....@.@@.
..@..@.... @......@@@
@..@..@... ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« .@.....@.@
@@..@..@.. ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ..@......@
.@@..@..@. ...@.....@
.@@@..@..@ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ....@.....
.@.@@..@.. ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« @....@....
...@@@..@. ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« @@....@...
...@.@@..@ ««# AND AT EASE #«« @@@....@..
.....@@@.. @.@@....@.
.....@.@@. ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ..@@@....@
@......@@@ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ..@.@@....
.@.....@.@ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ....@@@...
..@......@ @...@.@@..
...@.....@ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« @@....@@@.
....@..... ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« @@@...@.@@
@....@.... ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« @.@@....@@
@@....@... ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ..@@@...@.
@@@....@.. ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ..@.@@....
@.@@....@. ....@@@...
..@@@....@ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ....@.@@..
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . = .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.