RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#..#..#... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...#.#.##.
.#..#..#.. .......##.
..#..#..#. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .......###
#..#..#..# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #......#.#
##..#..#.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .#.......#
.##..#..#. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..#......#
.###..#..# #..#......
.#.##..#.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##..#.....
...###..#. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .##..#....
...#.##..# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .###..#...
.....###.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .#.##..#..
.....#.##. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...###..#.
.......### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...#.##..#
#......#.# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .....###..
.#.......# .....#.##.
..#......# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #......###
#..#...... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ##.....#.#
##..#..... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ###......#
.##..#.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #.##.....#
.###..#... OPERATION. ..###.....
.#.##..#.. ..#.##....
...###..#. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #...###...
...#.##..# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##..#.##..
.....###.. .##...###.
.....#.##. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .###..#.##
#......### ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .#.##...##
##.....#.# ...###..#.
###......# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #..#.##...
#.##.....# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ##...###..
..###..... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ###..#.##.
..#.##.... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #.##...###
#...###... ..###..#.#
##..#.##.. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..#.##...#
.##...###. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #...###..#
.###..#.## ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ##..#.##..
.#.##...## ###...###.
...###..#. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.##..#.##
#..#.##... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..###...##
##...###.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ..#.##..#.
###..#.##. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ....###...
#.##...### ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ....#.##..
..###..#.# ......###.
..#.##...# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #.....#.##
:::~: : ~~: : ~: :~
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.