RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨¨##¨¨### »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##¨¨¨##¨¨#
¨#¨#¨#¨#¨¨ #¨#¨¨#¨#¨#
#########¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ####¨#####
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨##¨####¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ¨#¨##¨¨¨#¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ####¨#¨¨##
#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨¨¨###¨#¨
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨#¨¨#¨¨###
¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨##¨##¨#¨¨
¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨#¨##¨###¨
¨¨#¨#¨¨¨¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ####¨##¨¨#
#¨####¨¨¨# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #¨¨¨##¨#¨#
¨##¨¨¨#¨¨# ##¨¨#¨####
##¨#¨¨##¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #¨#¨###¨¨¨
#¨###¨#¨## CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #####¨¨#¨¨
###¨¨####¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨¨¨¨#¨##¨
#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨#¨¨¨###¨#
¨#¨####¨¨# OPERATION. ¨##¨¨#¨¨##
####¨¨¨#¨# ¨#¨#¨##¨#¨
#¨¨¨#¨¨### SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨#####¨###
¨#¨¨##¨#¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##¨¨¨¨##¨¨
¨##¨#¨###¨ ¨¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨
¨#¨####¨¨# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨¨##¨¨####
####¨¨¨#¨# »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨#¨#¨#¨¨¨
#¨¨¨#¨¨### ¨¨######¨¨
##¨¨##¨#¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨
#¨#¨#¨###¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» #¨##¨¨¨¨##
¨######¨¨# »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨##¨#¨¨¨#¨
¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨# »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨#¨###¨¨##
###¨¨¨¨### ¨###¨¨#¨#¨
#¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨#¨¨#¨####
¨#¨##¨¨##¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ###¨###¨¨¨
¨###¨#¨#¨# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» #¨¨##¨¨#¨¨
¨#¨¨###### ##¨#¨#¨##¨
¨##¨#¨¨¨¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» #¨######¨#
##¨###¨¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨##¨¨¨¨¨##
¨¨##¨¨#¨¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ##¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨#¨#¨##¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» #¨###¨¨¨##
#¨#####¨#¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨##¨¨#¨¨#¨
###¨¨¨¨### ¨#¨#¨##¨##
¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨#####¨##¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.