RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&.....&&.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &.........
..&&&....& ..&&&&&&&.
&..&..&&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &..&&&&&..
.......... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....&&&...
&&&&&&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&..&..&&
&&&&&&&&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .........&
&&&&&&&&.. &&&&&&&&..
.&&&&&&..& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&&&&...
..&&&&.... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&..&&
...&&..&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&&&&.....
&&......&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&..&&&&
&..&&&&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .......&&&
....&&..&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&..&&
.&&......& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&.....
....&&&&.. &&&&..&&&&
.&&..&&..& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&....&&.
.......... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....&&....
&&&&&&&&&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&....&&&
&&&&&&&&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&..&&..&&
&&&&&&&..& OPERATION. &........&
&&&&&&.... ..&&&&&&..
.&&&&..&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &..&&&&...
..&&....&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ....&&..&&
.....&&..& &&&.......
&&&&...... »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&..&&&&&&
&&&..&&&&& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» .....&&&&&
&&....&&&& &&&&..&&&&
&..&&..&&. »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&&....&&&
.......... »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&..&&..&&
.&&&&&&&&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ..........
..&&&&&&&& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &&&&&&&&&&
...&&&&&&. &&&&&&&&&.
&&..&&&&.. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &&&&&&&&..
.....&&... »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» .&&&&&&...
&&&&....&& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ..&&&&..&&
&&&..&&... ...&&....&
&&......&& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &&....&&..
...&&&&..& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &..&&.....
&&..&&.... »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ......&&&&
&......&&. »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&&&&..&&&
..&&&&.... »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&&&....&&
...&&..&&. .&&..&&...
&&........ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ........&&
,,,», , »», , », ,»
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.