RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&..&&.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..........
.......&&& &&&&&&&&&.
&&&&&&..&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&..
.&&&&..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&&&&...
..&&..&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&&&&..&&
.......&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&&&.....
&&&&&&..&& &..&..&&&&
&&&&&....& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .......&&&
&&&&..&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&&&&..&&
&&&......& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&&&....&
&&..&&&&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &..&..&&..
.....&&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..........
&&&&....&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&&&&&
&&&..&&..& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&&&&&&
&&........ .&&&&&&&&&
&..&&&&&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&&&&&&&&
....&&&&&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...&&&&&&&
.&&..&&&.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&..&&&&&.
......&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &....&&&..
&&&&&...&& OPERATION. ..&&..&..&
&&&&..&..& ..........
.&&....... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&&&&&.
....&&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&&&&&..
&&&..&&&&& &&&&&&&..&
&&....&&&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .&&&&&....
...&&..&.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ..&&&..&&.
&&........ &..&......
...&&&&&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .....&&&&.
&&..&&&&&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .&&&..&&..
.....&&&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..&.......
&&&&..&&&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &...&&&&&&
&&&....&&& ..&..&&&&&
&&..&&..&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ......&&&&
&......... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&&&..&&&
..&&&&&&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .&&&....&&
...&&&&&&& ..&..&&...
&&..&&&&&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ........&&
&....&&&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&&&&&..&
..&&..&&&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&&&&....
&......&.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&&&..&&&
..&&&&.... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .&&&....&&
...&&..&&& ..&..&&...
&&......&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ........&&
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.