RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&....&&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&..&.&&&&
&.&...&.&. .&.&&&...&
&&&..&&&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&..&..&.
..&.&...&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..&.&&.&&&
.&&&&..&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&&.&&..&
&...&.&&.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &..&&.&.&&
&..&&&.&.& &.&.&&&&..
&.&..&&&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&...&.&
&&&.&...&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...&..&&&.
..&&&..&.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&&.&..&&
.&..&.&&.& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&.&&&.&.&
&&.&&&.&&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&..&&&&&
.&&..&&.&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&.&.....
&.&.&.&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&&&&.....
&&&&&&.... &...&....&
.....&...& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &..&&...&.
....&&..&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &.&.&..&&.
...&.&.&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&.&.&.
..&&&&&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ....&&&&&.
.&....&..& OPERATION. ...&....&.
&&...&&.&. ..&&...&&.
.&..&.&&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&.&..&.&&
&&.&&&..&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&.&&&.&
.&&..&.&.& ...&&..&&.
&.&.&&&&&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ..&.&.&.&.
&&&&.....& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .&&&&&&&&&
...&....&. &.........
..&&...&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &.........
.&.&..&... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &.........
&&&&.&&... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &.........
...&&.&... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &........&
..&.&&&... &.......&&
.&&&..&... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &......&.&
&..&.&&..& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &.....&&&&
&.&&&.&.&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &....&....
&&..&&&&.& &...&&...&
.&.&...&&. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &..&.&..&.
&&&&..&.&. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &.&&&&.&&.
...&.&&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&...&&.&&
..&&&....& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .&..&.&&.&
.&..&...&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&.&&&.&&&
&&.&&..&.. .&&..&&..&
.&&.&.&&.& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &.&.&.&.&.
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.