RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&....&.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...&&.&..&
&&....&... &..&&..&.&
.&&....&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&.&&&...&
.&&&....&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&.&.&&...
.&.&&....& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .....&&&..
...&&&.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .....&.&&.
...&.&&... .......&&&
&....&&&.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &......&.&
&&...&.&&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&.......&
.&&....&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&......&
.&&&...&.& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &.&&......
.&.&&....& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&&&.....
...&&&...& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&.&&....
...&.&&... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....&&&...
.....&&&.. ....&.&&..
.....&.&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ......&&&.
.......&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ......&.&&
&......&.& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ........&&
&&.......& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &.......&.
&&&......& OPERATION. &&........
&.&&...... .&&.......
..&&&..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&&&......
..&.&&.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&.&&.....
....&&&... ...&&&....
....&.&&.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ...&.&&...
......&&&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....&&&..
......&.&& &....&.&&.
........&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&.....&&&
&.......&. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .&&....&.&
&&........ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .&&&.....&
.&&....... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .&.&&....&
.&&&...... ...&&&....
.&.&&..... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ...&.&&...
...&&&.... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .....&&&..
...&.&&... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .....&.&&.
.....&&&.. &......&&&
&....&.&&. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&.....&.&
&&.....&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&......&
.&&....&.& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &.&&.....&
.&&&.....& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..&&&.....
.&.&&....& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..&.&&....
...&&&.... ....&&&...
...&.&&... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ....&.&&..
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.