RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&....&&&.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &.&&..&...
.&...&.&&. &.&&&..&..
..&....&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &.&.&&..&.
...&...&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &...&&&..&
&...&....& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&..&.&&..
.&...&...& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&...&&&.
..&...&... .&&&..&.&&
&..&...&.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&.&&...&&
&&..&...&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...&&&..&.
&&&..&...& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &..&.&&...
&.&&..&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&...&&&..
..&&&..&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&..&.&&.
..&.&&..&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &.&&...&&&
&...&&&..& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&&&..&.&
&&..&.&&.. ..&.&&...&
.&&...&&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &...&&&..&
.&&&..&.&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&..&.&&..
.&.&&...&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&&...&&&.
...&&&..&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&&..&.&&
&..&.&&... OPERATION. .&.&&...&&
&&...&&&.. ...&&&..&.
&&&..&.&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &..&.&&...
&.&&...&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&...&&&..
..&&&..&.& ..&..&.&&.
..&.&&...& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ...&...&&&
&...&&&..& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &...&..&.&
&&..&.&&.. &&...&...&
.&&...&&&. »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&&...&..&
.&&&..&.&& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &.&&...&..
.&.&&...&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ..&&&...&.
...&&&..&. »»# AND AT EASE #»» ..&.&&...&
&..&.&&... ....&&&...
.&...&&&.. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ....&.&&..
..&..&.&&. »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ......&&&.
...&...&&& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &.....&.&&
&...&..&.& &&......&&
&&...&...& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» .&&.....&.
&&&...&..& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» .&&&......
&.&&...&.. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» .&.&&.....
..&&&...&. »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ...&&&....
..&.&&...& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ...&.&&...
....&&&... .....&&&..
....&.&&.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &....&.&&.
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.