RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨##¨¨¨¨#¨
########¨¨ #¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨######¨¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨##¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨
#¨¨##¨¨##¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ####¨¨¨¨##
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ###¨¨##¨¨#
¨########¨ ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨######¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨¨#######
¨¨¨####¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨#####¨
##¨¨##¨¨## IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ###¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
########## WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨##¨¨¨##
#########¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨#
########¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨
¨######¨¨# ##¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #¨¨##¨¨#¨¨
#¨¨##¨¨##¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#######¨¨
########## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨#####¨¨#
########## OPERATION. #¨¨###¨¨¨¨
¨######### ¨¨¨¨#¨¨##¨
¨¨######## SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ###¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
#¨¨####### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##¨¨######
¨¨¨¨###### #¨¨¨¨#####
¨##¨¨##### ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨##¨¨###¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨#### ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
#####¨¨### ######¨¨¨#
####¨¨¨¨## ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #####¨¨#¨¨
¨##¨¨##¨¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ####¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ###¨¨#####
¨######### ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ##¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨#######¨ #¨¨##¨¨#¨¨
#¨¨#####¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨¨###¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨#######¨¨
###¨¨#¨¨## ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨#####¨¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# #¨¨###¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨#####¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨#¨¨##¨
##¨¨###¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ###¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##¨¨#####¨
####¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨###¨¨
¨##¨¨###¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ####¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ ¨##¨¨¨¨¨##
¨####¨¨¨## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨###¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.