RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨@¨@¨@¨¨@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @¨¨@@@¨¨@@
¨@@@@@@¨@¨ @¨@¨¨@¨@¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@@¨@@@@@@
@¨¨¨¨@¨¨@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
@¨¨¨@@¨@¨@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨@¨@¨¨¨¨¨@
@¨¨@¨@@@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@@@¨¨¨¨@¨
@¨@@@¨¨¨¨@ ¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@@
@@¨¨@¨¨¨@@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨@¨@@¨¨@¨@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨@¨@¨@@¨¨@
@@@¨@¨@@@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@@@@¨@¨@@
¨¨@@@@¨¨@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨@@@@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨@¨@@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨
@@¨¨@@@¨@¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨
¨@¨@¨¨@@@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨@¨@¨@¨@
@@@@¨@¨¨¨¨ @@@@@@@@@@
¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨@@¨@@¨¨@@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@¨@@¨@¨@¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@¨@@@@@¨@ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@
¨@@¨¨¨¨@@¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨
@¨@¨¨¨@¨@@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@¨
@@@¨¨@@@¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨@¨@@
¨¨@¨@¨¨@¨@ ¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
¨@@@@¨@@@@ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨
@¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨@@¨@@¨¨
@¨¨@¨@¨¨¨@ ¨¨@¨@@¨@¨@
@¨@@@@¨¨@¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨@@@¨@@@@¨
@@¨¨¨@¨@@@ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @¨¨@@¨¨¨@@
¨@¨¨@@@¨¨@ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ @¨@¨@¨¨@¨¨
@@¨@¨¨@¨@¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@@@@¨@@¨¨
¨@@@¨@@@@@ ¨¨¨¨@@¨@¨@
@¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨@¨@@@@@
@¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@@¨¨¨@¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨¨¨¨@¨¨@@¨ @@¨@@¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨@@¨@¨@@ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨@@¨@¨¨@@¨
¨¨@¨@@@@¨@ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @¨@@@¨@¨@¨
¨@@@¨¨¨@@¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @@¨¨@@@@@¨
@¨¨@¨¨@¨@@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨@¨@¨¨¨¨@¨
@¨@@¨@@@¨@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @@@@¨¨¨@@@
@@¨@@¨¨@@@ ¨¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨@@¨@¨@¨¨@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨@@¨@@¨¨@
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.