RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨¨¨@@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ OPERATION. ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨
@@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨@¨¨@¨@¨@¨
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.