RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
##.###.### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #.###.#...
#.##..##.. .##..###..
###.#.#.#. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##.#.#..#.
#..####### THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #.#####.##
.#.#...... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .##....##.
.####..... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .#.#...#.#
##...#.... .####..###
..#..##... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##...#.#..
..##.#.#.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..#..####.
..#.#####. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..##.#...#
#.###....# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..#.###..#
.##..#...# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..###..#.#
##.#.##..# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#..#.###
..####.#.# COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..##.###..
..#...#### #.#.##..#.
..##..#... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #####.#.##
#.#.#.##.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #....####.
#######.#. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ##...#...#
.......### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #.#..##..#
#......#.. OPERATION. ####.#.#.#
.#.....##. ....######
###....#.# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #...#.....
#..#...### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##..##....
##.##..#.. ..#.#.#...
#.##.#.##. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #.######..
###.####.# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ###.....#.
#..##...## ...#....##
.#.#.#..#. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ...##...#.
.######.## ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ...#.#..##
##.....##. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #..####.#.
#.#....#.# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .#.#...###
.###...### #####..#..
.#..#..#.. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #....#.##.
.##.##.##. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ##...###.#
##.##.##.# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..#..#..##
..##.##.## ..##.##.#.
..#.##.##. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.#.##.###
#.###.##.# ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .####.##..
###..##.## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##...##.#.
#..#.#.##. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..#..#.###
.#.#####.# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #.##.###..
.###....## .##.##..#.
.#..#...#. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##.##.#.##
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.