RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ---------------------------------------- &&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨& ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& OPERATION. &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &&&¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &&&¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ &¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
,,,-, , --, , -, ,-
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.