RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨§§§§¨¨ THE  COMPUTER IS  A VERY COMMON TOOL  IN §§§§§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. §§§§¨¨§¨¨¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB  IS TO DO VAST  AMOUNTS OF SMALL §§§¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§§¨¨§§§§¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT  AMOUNT OF TIME. §§¨¨§§§¨¨§
§§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨                                          §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§ MOST  WORK ON THE  PRINCIPLES OF  POSING ¨¨§§¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A  HILBERT  PLANE,  WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨ IS  THEN FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO §§§§¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨§§§§ THAT  DAEMONS   CAN  SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM §§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    §§¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE ¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§§§¨          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         §§¨¨§¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨§§§§¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   §§§§§§§§§¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨§§ CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE  "GODS" OF THEIR ¨§§§§§§§¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR  TO  THE DAEMONS  DOING THE ¨¨§§§§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ WORK,   FOR  A  QUICK  AND  FAULT   FREE ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§§
¨§§§§§§¨¨§                OPERATION.                §§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§       SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY      §§§§§¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§                                          ¨¨§¨¨§§§§¨
§§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨      --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #--      ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨        --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #--        §§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§¨¨¨¨                                          ¨§§§¨¨§§§§
§§§§§¨¨§§¨     --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #--     ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§§
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨    --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #--    ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
§§§¨¨§§§§¨     --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #--     §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨           --# AND AT EASE #--            ¨§¨¨§§§§¨¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨§§§§     --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #--     ¨§§§¨¨¨¨§§
§¨¨§§¨¨§§¨     --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #--     ¨¨§¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨   --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #--   ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§                                          §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§    --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #--   §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§    --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #--     §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§     --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #--    §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§      --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #--     §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§       --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #--        §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§                                          §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ ---------------------------------------- §§§§§§§§§§
           ^^^-^      ^   --^   ^           -^   ^-           
           ^     ^^     ^     ^      ¨     ^¨     ¨           
           ¨            ¨                  ^      ¨           
                               ¨                              
                                                              
                                                              
           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO    BE     A    KIND     OF    PRAYER?           
           AS    IN,   YOU   MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,    AND   USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,   YOU'RE  USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D  ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF   BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE    HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF   IT.