RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....@@@.. ---------------------------------------- ....@.@.@@
@....@.@@. @.......@@
@@.....@@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .@......@.
@@@....@.@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..@.......
@.@@.....@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @..@......
..@@@....@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@..@.....
..@.@@.... .@@..@....
....@@@... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .@@@..@...
....@.@@.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .@.@@..@..
......@@@. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...@@@..@.
......@.@@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...@.@@..@
@.......@@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .....@@@..
.@......@. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .....@.@@.
..@....... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .......@@@
@..@...... @......@.@
@@..@..... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@.......@
.@@..@.... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .@@......@
.@@@..@... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .@@@......
.@.@@..@.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .@.@@.....
...@@@..@. OPERATION. ...@@@....
...@.@@..@ ...@.@@...
.....@@@.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @....@@@..
.....@.@@. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@...@.@@.
.......@@@ .@@....@@@
@......@.@ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- .@@@...@.@
@@.......@ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .@.@@....@
.@@......@ ...@@@...@
.@@@...... --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- @..@.@@...
.@.@@..... --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- @@...@@@..
...@@@.... --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- @@@..@.@@.
...@.@@... --# AND AT EASE #-- @.@@...@@@
@....@@@.. ..@@@..@.@
@@...@.@@. --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ..@.@@...@
.@@....@@@ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ....@@@..@
.@@@...@.@ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ....@.@@..
.@.@@....@ ......@@@.
...@@@...@ --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ......@.@@
@..@.@@... --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ........@@
@@...@@@.. --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- @.......@.
@@@..@.@@. --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- @@........
@.@@...@@@ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- .@@.......
..@@@..@.@ .@@@......
..@.@@...@ ---------------------------------------- .@.@@.....
:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : . :. .
. . % .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.