RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.¤......¤¤ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .¤.¤..¤...
..¤.....¤¤ ....¤..¤..
...¤....¤. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .....¤..¤.
....¤..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ......¤..¤
¤....¤.... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .......¤..
.¤....¤... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ........¤.
..¤....¤.. ¤........¤
¤..¤....¤. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¤¤........
.¤..¤....¤ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .¤¤.......
..¤..¤.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .¤¤¤......
...¤..¤... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .¤.¤¤.....
....¤..¤.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...¤¤¤....
.....¤..¤. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¤..¤.¤¤...
......¤..¤ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .¤...¤¤¤..
.......¤.. ..¤..¤.¤¤.
........¤. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...¤...¤¤¤
¤........¤ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....¤..¤.¤
¤¤........ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¤....¤...¤
.¤¤....... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¤¤....¤..¤
.¤¤¤...... OPERATION. .¤¤....¤..
.¤.¤¤..... .¤¤¤....¤.
...¤¤¤.... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .¤.¤¤....¤
¤..¤.¤¤... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ...¤¤¤....
.¤...¤¤¤.. ...¤.¤¤...
..¤..¤.¤¤. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .....¤¤¤..
...¤...¤¤¤ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....¤.¤¤.
....¤..¤.¤ .......¤¤¤
¤....¤...¤ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .......¤.¤
¤¤....¤..¤ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .........¤
.¤¤....¤.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .........¤
.¤¤¤....¤. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ..........
.¤.¤¤....¤ ..........
...¤¤¤.... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¤.........
...¤.¤¤... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .¤........
.....¤¤¤.. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..¤.......
.....¤.¤¤. ¤..¤......
.......¤¤¤ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¤¤..¤.....
.......¤.¤ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .¤¤..¤....
.........¤ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .¤¤¤..¤...
.........¤ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .¤.¤¤..¤..
.......... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...¤¤¤..¤.
.......... ...¤.¤¤..¤
¤......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .....¤¤¤..
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.