RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §¨¨¨§¨§¨§§
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨                                          ¨§¨¨§§§§§¨
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ THE COMPUTER  IS A VERY COMMON  TOOL  IN ¨§§¨§¨¨¨¨§
¨¨§¨§¨§¨§¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS  EVEN NOW. §§¨§§§¨¨¨§
§¨§§§§§§§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS  OF  SMALL ¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨§
¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF  TIME. §¨§¨§¨§§¨§
§§¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          §§§§§§§¨§§
¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨ MOST  WORK  ON THE PRINCIPLES OF  POSING §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨¨ THE  PROBLEM  ON  A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
§¨§§¨§§¨¨¨ IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF CAUSALITY,  SO ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§§
¨§§¨§§¨§¨¨ THAT  DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE  THE   PROBLEM §¨§§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨§¨§§¨§§§¨    WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE   §§§¨§¨¨§§¨
¨§§§¨§§¨¨§ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE ¨¨¨§§§¨§¨§
§§¨¨§§¨§¨§          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         ¨¨¨§¨¨§§§§
¨¨§¨§¨§§§§                                          ¨¨¨§§¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§§¨¨¨   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨¨¨§¨§§§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO  THE  "GODS"  OF THEIR §¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨§§¨¨¨§§¨ COMPUTER, OR  TO  THE DAEMONS  DOING THE ¨§¨§¨¨§¨§§
§¨§¨§¨¨§¨§ WORK,  FOR  A  QUICK   AND  FAULT   FREE ¨§§§§¨§§§¨
§§§§§§¨§§§                OPERATION.                ¨§¨¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨                                          ¨§§¨¨§¨§¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§¨      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       ¨§¨§¨§§§§§
¨§¨¨¨¨§§§§    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨¨§¨¨¨                                          §¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨§¨¨§§¨¨      ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~      §§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨§§§§¨§¨§¨        ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~        ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨§¨
¨§¨¨¨§§§§§                                          ¨¨§§¨¨§§§§
§§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨     ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~     §¨§¨§¨§¨¨¨
§¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨    ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~    §§§§§§§§¨¨
§§¨§§§¨§¨¨     ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~     ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
§¨§§¨¨§§§¨            ~~# AND AT EASE #~~           §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
¨§§¨§¨§¨¨§                                          ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
¨§¨§§§§§¨§     ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~     ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§§§¨¨¨¨§§     ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~     §§¨§¨¨¨¨§¨
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨§¨   ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~   ¨¨§§§¨¨¨§§
¨§¨¨§§¨¨§§                                          ¨¨§¨¨§¨¨§¨
¨§§¨§¨§¨§¨    ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~   ¨¨§§¨§§¨§§
§§¨§§§§§§§     ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~    ¨¨§¨§§¨§§¨
§¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨    ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~     §¨§§§¨§§¨§
¨§§¨§¨¨¨¨¨      ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~     §§§¨¨§§¨§§
§§¨§§§¨¨¨¨       ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~        §¨¨§¨§¨§§¨
§¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨                                          ¨§¨§§§§§¨§
¨§§¨§¨§§¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §§§§¨¨¨¨§§
           ,,,~,     ,   ~~,   ,            ~,   ,~           
           ,     ,,     ,     ,     ¨     ,¨      ¨           
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           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO    BE     A     KIND    OF    PRAYER?           
           AS   IN,   YOU    MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,   AND    USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE   USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.