RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ OPERATION. &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& &&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&& ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ======================================== &&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ ^ ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.