RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
,,,&,,,&,& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&,,,,&,&,
,,&&,,&&&, ,&,,,&&&&,
,&,&,&,,&, THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&,,&,,,&,
&&&&&&,&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ,&,&&,,&&,
,,,,,&&,,& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&,&,&,&&
,,,,&,&,&, CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ,,&&&&&&,&
,,,&&&&&&, ,&,,,,,&&&
,,&,,,,,&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&,,,,&,,&
,&&,,,,&,& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ,&,,,&&,&&
&,&,,,&&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&,,&,&&,&
&&&,,&,,,, THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ,&,&&&,&&,
,,&,&&,,,& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&,,&&,&&
,&&&,&,,&, DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ,,&,&,&&,&
&,,&&&,&&, COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ,&&&&&,&&&
&,&,,&&,&& &,,,,&&,,,
&&&,&,&&,& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &,,,&,&,,&
,,&&&&,&&, CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &,,&&&&,&,
,&,,,&&,&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &,&,,,&&&,
&&,,&,&&,& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&,,&,,&,
,&,&&&,&&& OPERATION. ,,&,&&,&&&
&&&,,&&,,, ,&&&,&&,,&
,,&,&,&,,& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &,,&&,&,&,
,&&&&&&,&, NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &,&,&&&&&,
&,,,,,&&&& &&&&,,,,&,
&,,,,&,,,, ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ,,,&,,,&&&
&,,,&&,,,& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ,,&&,,&,,,
&,,&,&,,&, ,&,&,&&,,&
&,&&&&,&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&&&&,&,&,
&&,,,&&,,, ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ,,,,&&&&&&
,&,,&,&,,, ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ,,,&,,,,,,
&&,&&&&,,& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ,,&&,,,,,,
,&&,,,&,&& ,&,&,,,,,&
&,&,,&&&,, ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&&&,,,,&&
&&&,&,,&,& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ,,,&,,,&,,
,,&&&,&&&, ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ,,&&,,&&,&
,&,,&&,,&& ,&,&,&,&&&
&&,&,&,&,, ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&&&&&&,,&
,&&&&&&&,, ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ,,,,,,&,&,
&,,,,,,&,& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ,,,,,&&&&,
&,,,,,&&&, ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ,,,,&,,,&&
&,,,,&,,&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ,,,&&,,&,,
&,,,&&,&,, ,,&,&,&&,&
&,,&,&&&,& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ,&&&&&,&&,
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.