RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨##¨¨¨¨#¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨¨##¨#¨¨¨
#¨#¨¨¨##¨¨ #¨#¨#¨#¨¨¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #¨#¨#¨#¨¨#
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ OPERATION. #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
#¨#¨¨#¨#¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨#¨#¨#¨#¨
:::~: : ~~: : ~: :~
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.