dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature.  turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick on  the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you  do  with a cat 
 who comes to close to  your  sandwich...